Be Patient, Be Present, Be Joyful With Ryan Stanley

Be Patient, Be Present, Be Joyful With Ryan Stanley

Be Patient, Be Present, Be Joyful With Ryan Stanley

Ryan is a lifelong entrepreneur who is known for his impressively natural ability to connect with, understand and empower those who are willing to make significant changes in their personal and professional lives so they can end up being the best versions of themselves. Since graduating from The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) in 2009 as a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) Ryan has changed the lives of hundreds of clients from all walks of life. More recently, Ryan has also been working at his alma mater as both an Admissions Coach, where he closed almost $22 Million in sales in 8 years, and as their first ever Internal Coach where he coached staff from entry level to C suite on everything from daily professional growth to how they want to show up energetically in other more personal areas of their life.

In July of 2019 Ryan published his first book titled ‘Be Patient, Be Present, Be Joyful: A First Aid Kit for the Emotional Bumps, Scrapes, and Bruises of Life’.

In the Spring of 2020 Ryan took his sales and coaching expertise to new levels by co-founding Teach Me to Sell, an online Sales Training Organization focusing on working closely with Service Oriented SoloPreneurs or SOS’s (Coaches, Consultants, Direct Sales) as well as those new to any sales role in purpose driven organizations to help them push past fears and blocks around sales.

Website: https://www.ryanstanley.com/

SHOW TRANSCRIPT:

00:01

It’s time for small business marketing Made Easy podcast, the fastest growing podcast for the business community with your host, acclaimed marketing trainer, international speaker and author of the best selling books got attitude, and the 90 day marketing plan, Cody Butler.

00:25

And welcome to small business marketing Made Easy podcast. I’m Cody Butler, your host. And today I’ve got Ryan Stanley, author of Be patient be present and be joyful. Three things that I think are super relevant in this COVID era that we’re living in things are very different now. And patient’s presence and joy, I think are some things that we could all use more of in life in general. So I would love to have you talk about how we can apply that to our business. And I’d love to have you talk about how we can apply that to our personal lives as well. So welcome to the show. Ron. Take a second. Introduce yourself to our listeners.

01:00

Yeah, absolutely. Cody, first of all super amounts of gratitude to you for having me been looking forward to it all day. So thanks. Thanks for having me

01:07

today. very welcome.

01:08

I yeah, Ryan Stanley. I’m a certified professional coach, I have been since 2009. So I’ve been coaching people for over a decade, I spent a majority of my career coaching musicians and people in music industry focused on cultural creatives in general. I’ve also been an internal coach for the the one of the top coach training organizations in the world. So people have trained other people to become coaches I trained there, I coach their staff around how to not just show up more on purpose on a daily basis and who they want to be as a professional, but also to your point in their personal lives. I’m a little bit of an add entrepreneur, so I’m always have five or six projects working in somewhere. I love my two favorite things in life are coaching and Parenthood. And I will certainly do both of them on some level for the rest of my life.

01:53

How many children do you have? Right?

01:55

I’ve got to I’ve got a 10 year old and a seven year old.

01:59

I need more on the way.

02:01

Now. That’s it, we’re done. We took care of that. Good. I think we’re good with two. But you know, I grew up, I’m the second oldest of 10. So I have a lot of siblings. And like growing up as a younger person, I just assumed that I’d have at least four or five kids, right? It was just kind of because that was normal. And, you know, I didn’t have my first child after my 30s I was like, you know, I think things a little bit different now. I think two is good, you know, financially timewise everything just makes more sense. I think we’re good to go.

02:28

Awesome. Awesome. So let’s say I know, when I started, my entrepreneurial journey is probably the same for a lot of people. I thought that money would solve all of my problems. And I thought that success would solve all of my problems. And in my early days, as an entrepreneur, I was looking for the the how to use the techniques and all of the strategies to actually grow a business. And a lot of people want that. But I think as I became more successful, I realized that there were a lot of side effects, there were a lot of consequences and costs that come along with being an entrepreneur and a business owner. And some of those costs would really just very, very high. So be patient be present and be joyful is really interesting to me. Because as I became more and more successful, those things really became more and more important to me because I realized that success without joy, success without patients and, and all of that stuff success without gratitude. It’s for nothing, right? It’s just It doesn’t mean anything, you can have everything in the world and be very, very miserable. So I’m really interested. So what what brought about Be patient, be present, be joyful. And obviously, you’re an entrepreneur, what what brought about this book for you?

03:34

Yeah, thank you for asking. So it’s a combination of things. So again, as kind of someone who is always building some sort of a product to sell to the masses, and also working in coaching for 10 years and working with clients and having friends where I typically have coaching type conversations with it was clear that I don’t mean to belittle anybody’s experience, because I wrote this book as much for me as everybody else. But the basics of patience, presence and joy. So the basics, because they’re things that so many of us can create from within, but we think are going to are unattainable because of things that are happening outside. And so after working with so many clients and helping them understand that they can create patients, they can create presence, they can create joy from within, with practice and intention. And knowing what the outcome they want is to be by, you know, trying to put that in a thing where people can just carry something on them. So actually, and thank you, by the way for bringing up the book. It’s so it’s called Be patient, be present, be joyful, but there’s a subtitle of a first aid kit for the emotional bumps, scrapes and bruises of life. And I say that now because I’m not the type of guy that’s gonna sit down and read 300 pages, right? I am I’m there are hundreds of books out there that will change your life. And I will just not read most of them. Or at least I will not finish them right now. For whatever reason, I just don’t get them finished. It’s been 100 pages telling you what they’re going to tell you 100 pages telling you what they’re telling you. And then 100 pages telling you what they told you, which is great, it’s good, that’s intentional. It’s done for retention, all these different things. But uh I’m having a tough day, man, if I’m feeling overwhelmed if I’m feeling anxious, and if I’m just confused on who I want to be as a human being, I just need some first aid, I’m not going to sit down and read 300 pages. So I made this book. I mean, it’s literally it’s like, you can read it in probably 3540 minutes, right? So you sit down, it actually made it with two folds. One, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re feeling stressed, you can read through it and get some insights that you can take away How to what does it mean to create patience in the moment, and I challenge people on the ability to recognize that they are creating something all the time if you’re being impatient. And it’s not to say that you shouldn’t be based on your life experience, but you are creating impatience. If you’re if you’re feeling stressed, or overwhelmed, you’re feeling anger, you are creating that anger. And I mean, we create conversation, we create laughter, we create food, we create, you know, if you wake up in the morning, you put on blue socks, blue pants, blue shirt, blue hat, you’re creating a man dressed in blue. So we’re always creating something. And people once they start to realize, Hey, I am creating an impatient person, then then that allows you to ask the question and be curious, you know, what does a patient person feel like? How would I behave if I was creating a patient person? And when you stop staring at the story of all these things that are happening to you, and you start getting curious as to how can this be happening for me? And what can I do to create a person who is a patient in this moment? What would that look like? What would that feel like? You could really start to step in and decide who you want to create any moment you build up that moment, that muscle of choice and of self awareness. And then you know, you go on to create a person who was present that had gone to create joy. And so I just, it’s a short book, I wanted to create something people could could, that could serve a lot of people in a short amount of time. And so there’s one thing you read straight to it. And then the second thing is, it’s literally created as a first aid kit to where you can, whether you read it or not open it to any single page in the book. And there’s something highlighted that can be like pop out to ask them first at the moment, depending what your needs are.

06:51

That’s great to see, you kind of alluded to some some tips there. So better questions seem like one away things that are one of the solutions, right? So I guess Tony Robbins says if you want a better life, ask better questions, right? for better results, ask better questions. So what are some better questions? So when we’re dealing with situations that are testing our patients, when we’re dealing with situations that are really challenging our presence, you know, or our joy is being taken from us? What what are some questions that people can ask themselves that are going to bring them back into the moment that I’m gonna bring them back into a place that that’s happier to live in?

07:28

Totally? That is a great question. That was that was upon their right good question. I jokes you know this

07:37

up, I get it, I

07:38

get it. Yeah. So yeah, for I mean, first great question is How is this thought serving me? Right. So at any given point, if you’re feeling stressed, you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re feeling anxious, you’re feeling impatient about work, or anything else, you’re building your business, something didn’t go the way you want it to? And you’re going to be having certain feelings on that. But those feelings come from a thought. So you to really ask yourself, step outside, again, the story and really ask yourself, how is this thought serving me? And typically, the answer is going to be it’s not. And then so the follow up with a second question would be so what is a thought that does? What is the thought that would serve me in this moment? And once you start getting curious, instead of judgmental once, instead of you stop judging the situation is bad, and start being curious as to how this could be happening for me? Or what is the lesson? That’s another great question. Right to a great questions. How could this be happening for me? If this was happening for me, what would that mean? That was kind of the same question. And then secondly, also, I lost the room, because I said the same thing twice. I think about the second one in a minute. But questions are like, you know, so just how can I be curious? Or what is the lesson, right, just in the grand scheme of things? What is the lesson in this circumstance? Yeah, because anytime, especially in building business, it can feel like you’re failing, you can feel like you’re not doing quote unquote, good enough. And those are all judgments, you’re judging yourself based on expectations. And when you shift that judgment to instead, curiosity, you remove the judgment, you move the expectations, it’s okay to have standards and work those are working towards, but to spend physical energy and time looking at why it sucks or why it didn’t go well, or what you don’t like about it is not the best use of your time. Right. So and that the pitch to another question. Is this thought is this conversation? Is this activity the best use of my time? Yeah, that was some other good questions.

09:18

So how would a question for myself really, it’s like I’ve got I’ve got children myself, I’ve got a three year old and a five year old and a six month old and it’s like, trying to control my thoughts. Sometimes it’s like trying to control all of those in a room after a sugar high. It’s like,

09:34

you were right in the thick of it too, by the way.

09:37

It’s like given given them a two liter of Mountain Dew and then say no, Yeah, that’d be quiet. Let’s go that voice in my head. It’s like, I get that you ask yourself better questions. You you you become self aware of the thoughts right. But sometimes it’s really hard to that that voice is very unruly, it’s like a two year old a mountain dew.

09:56

Yeah.

09:56

Do you have any you have any any advice on how how can we control those thoughts How can we get them subdued? And once we’ve identified that this is not a supportive thought, This is not something that’s helping me that that’s great. But it’s still sometimes hard to get that thought under control. You have it you have any any advice on how we can? How we can do that?

10:14

Yeah. So like anything else? It’s practice. Right? And so you’re absolutely correct. But it does take practice. So, you know, we you touched on in the beginning, even gratitude, right? So a combination of things, first of all, and I know I just said it by doing repeated because that’s exactly what you’re talking

10:28

about. Shin is the mother of skill.

10:30

Absolutely. And it’s so it’s okay to ask yourself, how is this thought serving me? Right? Because if you if it’s so loud, it’s so loud, it keeps coming back? That’s when you take control, right? Because you’re not the thought. You’re the consciousness and your consciousness, you can say, again, so but So an example would be how does this thought serve me? Well, doesn’t matter? Because this is happening, then that didn’t get turned in on time, then I do. I know. But how does this thought serve me? Yeah, but the other guy, I know, but how is this thought serving me? Well, it’s not awesome. So what would be a thought that did? Right? So I mean, it’s it’s the the basis of coaching, you’re coaching yourself around, moving yourself forward. And when you start to build up that habit, that’s a right build up the habit of asking yourself questions that serve you. But be you know, chapter two and being present. At any given moment, we talk about if you’re thinking about something that happened yesterday, or last week, or last year, or 10 years ago, or thinking about worried about what someone else somewhere else thinks or worried about the future, like all these different things, these are the thoughts that that get loud, like the kids in the room, right. And those are all things are happening somewhere else, or at some other time. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed by that some a tip that I would give is to is to create a person who is present. And you can do that by just a quick tip is recognizing what are the five senses? What are my five senses doing right now? What do I see? What do I smell? What do I hear? What can I feel the air against the skin of my face? Like if you take a moment to genuinely again, be curious, right? curious as to what is going on right here right now. You’re no longer worried about those things. And obviously, like, Yeah, but if I suddenly found that I just lost $200,000 on a deal that I thought it was going to go in different direction. I don’t really care about what the skin, the arrogance is going to my face feels like. But the truth of the matter is, when you start to build up those muscles, you start to recognize that there is only now anyway. And any thoughts that you worry about a future that doesn’t that may or may not exist or something that happened in the past are not serving, you’re now you have the opportunity to decide to create someone who is here now and then learning from the lesson asking what is the lesson? What is the best version of myself? How can I utilize this information to move forward. Because if you’re doing that, from a place of presence and curiosity, instead of living in the past, and judging yourself for not being good enough, I mean, which one is gonna be more efficient, if you really think about it from a detached perspective, it takes practice and it takes muscle. But once you start to live in this way, it’s it’s actually magic starts to unfold in the grand scheme of things. And real quick, I’ll just share with you and for the sake of time, we kind of touched on this earlier, it’s like we’re in this business, we’re chasing this thing. And people are chasing success, quote, unquote, whatever success means to them. And typically, it is a financial number or something like that. And so they’re working too hard, and they’re burning themself out. And they’re stressed about these different things. Because they’re chasing, chasing, chasing because they feel like they’ll have freedom, once they get X amount of dollars, or X amount of you know, income. And so what they’re chasing is that feeling of freedom. And the crazy thing is that’s here right now, if you want it, like literally and when you start to practice that every single day, intentionally through meditation, or even just purposeful, being creative person who is here now, create a person who is genuinely grat grateful, not only for everything that is surrounding them, when literally you wake up in the morning, there’s gravity, there’s oxygen, there’s sunlight, just so that you can exist. And knowing that as an example, I mean, just life is a gift, every single moment is a gift, and to waste that gift, worried about what happened X amount of time ago or might happen, the future doesn’t really serve that gift, in my opinion. But then when you instead decide, okay, I want to make I’ll make this number up, I want to make $200,000 a year, let’s say right, so I think that’d be a good number just to kind of get get the ball rolling. Now I’m gonna work my ass off to get the $200,000 a year and I’m just I mean, that doesn’t serve the purpose. But if instead you decide, okay, here’s my number, here’s what I’m working towards. Let me sit in gratitude, not only for my ability to make that happen, and everything that can go into it. And we live in a day and age where you can just use your smartphone to literally create a business. And you know, depending on the time and effort market that you find, you can make millions of dollars, right just with your phone technically. But knowing grateful for that ability, but also grateful for the outcome itself. So instead of chasing and working so hard towards this outcome, you’re allowed to physically feel gratitude for the outcome right now and be in that space where you are enjoying what you want to enjoy in the future. And from a quantum physics level, once you start to do that, you’re now actually instead of chasing this outcome, you’re drawing the outcome to your experience, and that you can be patient and President joyful In the meantime, like that’s just the way to be and that is enjoying life and that is living in this gift of life to its fullest potential for my experience.

14:58

Yeah, that’s really that To get hours whenever I’m working with somebody or speaking to my wife or anything like that, because the question, Pete, as I alluded to, before, people want the strategy and stuff like that. But the question always is, what emotion? Are you trying to experience it? Yeah. Because we’re feeling we’re feeling beings, right? We experience life through feelings. And the question is, well, what what? what emotion Are you actually trying to experience because maybe there’s an easier way to get to that emotion, maybe there’s an easier way to get to that feeling.

15:28

And yeah, maybe you’ve been lying to yourself, that’s the only way this whole time, right, whatever you see is that outcome that you’re working so hard to get to. And if you can enjoy the feeling right now, because we our thoughts are, function through words, but our body is to feelings. And so when you create thoughts that serve your purpose, and then follow it up with feelings that just feel good, including gratitude. The other thing is, and I’ll just touch on gratitude real quick, why it’s so important. And I’m sure you’ve gone over this before, just just even knowing in the short run time, we’ve spoken to how powerful it is. Because if you are in any type of stress, you know, if you have a small business, and you’re feeling any type of stress or overwhelm, that comes from a feeling of lack. And it’s not that it’s not understandable, it makes sense you feeling that way. But stress, all stress is either the lack of financial, it’s a lack of health, it’s a lack of time, it’s a lack of love, it’s a lack of all these different things, right. So it’s some form of lack. Gratitude is the opposite. Gratitude is the ultimate feeling of receiving and abundance, right? It’s the opposite of lack. If you are genuinely and authentically grateful for anything at any given moment, it is the opposite of lack. And so when you start to build up that practice of creating gratitude, the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning, before I’m even conscious, I’m kind of coming out of consciousness, I have built up like a habit of going out, my brain kind of does it on its own, where I am suddenly, like, as soon as I realize I’m kind of grateful, I’m first of all, I’m sorry, the Sousa rose, I’m kind of awake, I’m grateful for my my bed, I’m grateful for my pillow. I’m grateful for my blankets. And then I’m grateful for my wife, and I’m grateful for my room. And I’m grateful for my house and I’m grateful for my cars. I’m slowly in my mind going outside, I’m grateful for my property. And I’m grateful for my family and all sudden, I’m just waking up and realizing that this is a gift right now who I want to be. And then when I step into it, and trust me, you know, also having a seven and a nine year old, they’re not always hunky dory and happy excited at 630 in the morning. So you know, but having that space to begin my day from a conscious level puts you in a place of receiving and you know, as you step into your greatness on any given day that you are receiving something,

17:23

yeah, that that’s really good. It’s, it’s interesting, whenever whenever I work with business owners, my question really is what’s going to get the best version of you to show up in your business. Because that’s what your business needs, that’s what’s gonna make your business grow. If you if the best version of you shows up, you’ll get the best out of your employees and your employees will get the best out of out of the customers. And that’s how it works a couple of things really interest in there. So that so for me morning routine is really, really critical, right? Like, if I start my day wrong, it’s not gonna go right I measure it, if I start my day out wrong, I might as well just give it up. And just like in tech, take take the day off or go binge on Netflix or something like that, right? Because nothing productive is gonna happen. So for me morning routines were really, really critical for the best version of me showing up. So you touched on morning routine there. So you got any tips on sort of a morning routine? If people don’t have a successful morning routine right now? What will be a good place to start in creating a productive morning routine?

18:21

Yeah, that’s a great question. So first of all, it’s going to be different for everybody. And I love that you asked it that way. Because everybody is going to have things that they like and don’t like, this works. For me, this doesn’t work for me. And I’ve even found certain times of year some things work for me better than others. I know January through June, I get I get up earlier, but it has to do I’m certain it has to do with the sun and the darkness of the days or whatever. And then, you know, July through December, I typically this is painting with a broad brush. But I’ve noticed I kind of track my being. And I work later into the evenings when it’s darker. It’s like it’s darker, ready. So that’s what I’m going to want to sleep in the mornings. But in any case, from a morning routine standpoint, I think it’s too if you’re looking to start someplace. I think you probably want to focus on a couple three basic areas, right you want what’s my spiritual? What’s my mental and what’s my physical? Well, those are gonna implement someplace in your routine, right because of spiritual meaning whether whatever beliefs you have, whether it be God or just the universe, or just life, but some sort of connection with a greater power that gives you life in this moment. However you like to do it through meditation, whether it’s through prayer, whether it’s just through gratitude, in some capacity. So some sort of spiritual, mental then is also specifically asking yourself questions like, who do I want to be today? And really doing maybe some journaling is another suggestion. I do what I call my Im statements where I literally stand in front of my vision board and I will say, you know, I spent about 1015 minutes saying who I am and some things have yet to be manifested, like some things are still in the future. But I’m thinking about it. I’m creating, I’m prepping my subconscious in my brain for who I plan to be. Right so I’ve gotten spiritual, I’ve got the mental and then physical can be exercise, right. Obviously, you want to Some sort of a movement, it’s good not only for your body, but for your mind and for your intentions. So you’re priming your brain to kind of be healthy to be physically healthy. So you know, as little as a yoga or you know, and so some people are just starting off, they don’t want to do a ton of exercise. You know, most cable companies right now, I don’t know about in Australia, but in the US, you could just do like an on demand if you type in health or something like that. There, they have like five minute fitness videos. So something like that. Right now, I’ve been jogging, right? So but the first half of the year, I did like a t 25. It’s like a 25 minute workout. But just, I would say pick three things, pick those three things mental, physical and spiritual, and see how you can align them into your morning routine on a daily basis. But mostly, the intention is to set yourself up and set your day up for the best version of yourself to be who you want to be. Yeah, yeah,

20:47

exactly. You mentioned earlier on about building a muscle. And it’s very interesting. I mean, I’m working currently with the two time world champion boxer, and he has a nutrition coach, he has a fitness coach, he has a technique coach, he has a strength coach, he has a he has a huge array of coaches around him. And it’s interesting, because as a as a, as a world champion, you see, that he’s surrounded himself with, with all of these people that are experts in the in the different areas. And it’s like, the nutrition part, like he doesn’t know what nutrition is, and you’ll get a coach that that holds him accountable to a great diet, right. All of that stuff. So a lot of this is is, as you mentioned, is very interesting it is success is about building a muscle, it is about the routine, it is about building the muscle. And a lot of it is simply accountability, I believe, personally, and having somebody like a lot of the stuff that you’re talking about here is not necessarily that difficult. What’s difficult is exercising it with discipline on a daily basis.

21:45

And you know, the X amount of years from your past life, all the physical, mental and spiritual habits that you just developed on your own right. So that that keeps you from doing those things. Yeah. If it was all of these things, if it was simple, well, actually, it is simple. It was easy. Everybody would do it. Right, as I said. So it does take discipline, not only does it take discipline, but it takes consistency. Yeah. And I think most importantly, patience. I don’t say that just because it’s the first chapter of the book. I say that because there’s so many people say oh, I Well, I and I’m making this up all while I meditate and exercise every day for a year. And my life is in perfect. Like, great. Well, what if I told you that if you do that every day for five years, your life would be perfect? Would you be willing to put it in? Right? Whatever perfect means? And they would say yeah, but then but they don’t write they feel like they want the results immediately. And that wasn’t the best example. Because I think anybody who exercise every day and meditates every day, for years go to definitely see some some results. Yeah. But whether it be starting a business, if you are in it for the long game, and the long haul, and you never look at anything as looked over, or I failed, or thing as much as everything is just me learning about who I want to be tomorrow. And you know, the person who I am even a year ago is not the person I am today, right? Especially when you’re starting a business, you learn you grow you you you pivot. And so in those places, just to have patience with yourself and to keep moving forward at all times, and look for the lesson and the opportunity. I mean, that’s a huge part of it.

23:04

Yeah, yeah. I think too, like as we evolve is, you know, we’re talking, whether we’re talking business, whether we’re talking about parent parenting, whether we’re talking about being a husband, it doesn’t matter which part of life, it’s like, there’s a number of times I’ve looked in the mirror and said to the guy looking back at me in the mirror, you’re not up to the job, you’ve got to go. So I knew I had to fire the person looking in the mirror and just say, hey, you’re not up to it. You’re not up to the task. You’re a nice guy, but you’re not getting the job done. Meet you show me see Oh,

23:34

yeah, you showed up with good intentions. But really your work ethic is not what we were looking for.

23:39

Exactly, exactly right. And as well as all of those things, really, as business owners, as parents as citizens, it’s like totally, we get to a certain point and the skill set that we had was adequate for that point. But if we want to progress, we’ve now a new version of ourselves got to show up a better version of ourselves, we’ve got we’ve got to constantly be upgrading and leveling up.

24:03

I can say that I’ve been in situations during my journey where I’ve leveled up a bunch and then the old you know, Ryan from my 20s sneaks up another bone salon and wants to get a little more casual and a little more relaxed. And the other thing wrong with that but I certainly don’t get as much done right and it’s time to remind myself like to your point like hey, or not to say that you’re not the guy for the job, but hey, we hired you if you recall on our day of your first interview These are some of the the plans and lately these have not been following through the job description.

24:31

I think I think that’s a great point right? I think a lot of times like we’ll excuse me we all slip back into bad habits but the difference between the Cody of today and the Cody of 20 years ago is I don’t stay there anymore. I might I might spend a day on the bed. What Benjen on Netflix with some trail mix, but I don’t stay there for six months.

24:48

And or you don’t necessarily sit there and hate yourself for doing that. Right there. You’re not going to spend another three days being mad at yourself for for behaving in the way that you do want to behave. Whatever Okay, that’s that was it? What’s the lesson? Your lesson is I probably know that I did because of this. Again, if you’re curious about why did I behave that way on the day, when I had more important things to do, or that I wanted to do, instead of judging yourself and spending time with physical energy, meaning when you have a thought you are creating physical energy, right? So instead of creating thoughts are just like, oh, you suck, and you didn’t do this well, and that, instead of saying, okay, what’s the lesson? What’s the opportunity for growth here? What’s the lesson here? Awesome. Now that I know what that is, let me start applying that today.

25:24

Yeah, yeah. I think that I think that’s a great point, I find myself you know, from time, less, less and less as I become more aware of some of the some of the stuff that you’re talking about here, be present, and patient and stuff like that. It’s like, be patient with yourself as well. be joyful with yourself, be present with yourself.

25:40

Totally. That’s where it starts.

25:41

Yeah. And a lot of times, that’s a lot of times I find that myself talk my language in my head, if I spoke to you in the way that I speak to myself, we would not be friends. You would not have done a good thing. You would not allow me to talk to you, like I talked to myself. So I’d say yeah, I guess being present and being aware of those thoughts and asking myself the question, if you would not talk to somebody else like that, why would you talk to yourself, if somebody else will not like you? What, how can you possibly like yourself when you’re using that kind of language?

26:13

Totally. And as you know, as a parent as well, like, you know, would you talk to your children that way? Would you want your children to talk to themselves that way? Never right? Not Not even a little bit? So we could start asking ourselves questions like that. Is this the best version of myself? Is this why why this would want to be in front of my children. Right? And if they ever that’s the answer, then do some answers. No, then there’s an opportunity to do something about that.

26:37

Yeah, yeah. So we get we’re getting we’re running out of time. Here. I got a question. I want to ask you about the current situation. Obviously, we’re recording this during COVID. We’re still it’s a it’s what, October 2020? I think, yeah. So we slap bang in the middle of chaos right now. And there’s a lot of people that are, you know, some people are dealing with it? Well, some people dealing with it not so well. But certainly there’s a lot of uncertainty in the world right now. And I think there’s never been really more need for the stuff that you’re talking about right now. So talk just briefly about the works. What can people do to get some certainty in this situation to help them get through the situation and to maintain their mental health during the crisis that we’re going through right now?

27:19

Yeah, um, so here’s what I’ll say about that. I, it’s sometimes people like, oh, not easy for you to say, but Oh, you’re a life coach. Of course, you think that thing or you’re always always an optimist. But you know, when it comes down to it, I’m a human being. And what I found in talking to a lot of people for the past year, is I I’m under the belief, understand that this is really just made you more of what you already were. Right? If you were if you were already kind of in a place of fear, you’re probably a lot more fearful right now. If you were already stressed, and overwhelmed or anxious, you’re probably a lot more stressed and overwhelmed and anxious right now, if you were physically unhealthy, and spend a lot of time thinking about that, and focusing your time and thoughts and energy on that you’re probably thinking a lot more about that now than ever, right? Yep. So I believe I’ve had one of the best years of my life, I’ve been blessed to be thinking every day about who I want to be in every aspect of my life. And so that is, I say that in the sense that my answer to your question is, when you wake up in the morning, decide who you want to be and do something about it. Right? When you go to bed at night, remind yourself first of all of everything that was given to you in this moment today. And spend time in gratitude for, again, as little as oxygen running water, sunlight, gravity, things that allow you to exist, but also the people in your life that you love, anything that makes you happy, and that you experience, feel free, you know, create gratitude for it as often as possible. I’ve often and I’m sure this is probably come up for you and other of your guests. But if you don’t know what that is, I want to be make some time to write it down. And I touched on that I say it every morning, I have my items I haven’t memorized. But if you haven’t yet, you know, if you’re listening out there who hasn’t made time to decide who you want to be, literally today, spend some time writing down exactly what you want your life to look like in every area. And it could take you five minutes, it could take you three hours, it doesn’t matter, the more efficient you can be the better write it down. Then create gratitude for that outcome. And then read it out loud when you start your day. And when you end your day. And when you start to do this, instead of you’re focusing your subconscious not only not only read it, but really feel each one as you say it. Let’s say I’m making this up, I’m a multimillionaire, I have $10 million in my bank account. Don’t just say it out loud. Okay, I said the words now it’s good. Literally imagine what that would be like and feel it and create gratitude for everything that a person who has $10 million, create a person in your mind, and how you would feel like we talked about earlier, not chasing anymore, you’re being it. I am happy, I’m healthy. Whatever it is, I have a business that I love my brand. I love going to work every day. These are all different things that you can choose to create and think about how it would feel read out loud to your subconscious. And then when you start to do that on a regular basis, you actually program your mind to look for opportunities that will lead to those things. So You know, my, my recipe is typically the cycle you want to be, write it down, create gratitude for it, create gratitude for the outcome and your ability to manifest it. And then remind yourself of it every single day. If you do that every single day, and then be the light that you want to see in the world along the way, you’ll have an enjoyable life no matter what, what’s going on.

30:22

I think that’s not the favorite thing. My favorite thing that you’ve said is, it’s just making you more of what you already are. So money does the same thing. People say money or crappiest like money just makes you more of what you are totally. If money will make you more generous, if you’re stingy money will make you more stingy. If you if you are right, it will make you more corrupt that I’ve never thought about our current situation in that way that the situation is just magnified. Hundred percent you have the opportunity, it’s highlighting. It’s highlighting the areas that of your life that need work, right. I never, I never thought of it that way. That’s really, I like that. That’s the highlight of this interview for me. So thank you, nugget of information there.

30:57

Yeah, of course. And I found to be so true. The other thing that I would say is, recognize that life is happening for you and not to you. Even a global pandemic, when you start to choose what that it’s a weird thing to say, right for a lot of people and was for me at one point, I’ve had some pretty traumatic scenarios occur in my life, when I start to recognize, okay, if I had chosen this experience, why would that be? Right? What would I What can I get out of it? How could I possibly How could this possibly happen for me, instead of staring? This is happening to me, this is happening to me, like, Okay, so how could this be happening for me? And when again, you get curious, and you ask yourself that question, you start to your brain is the machine that will start to try to answer it. And that doesn’t mean be sarcastic go how’s this happening? For me? It’s like, no, literally, I don’t know the answer. But how is this happening for me? How could this be happening for me? And when you start to come from that place of curiosity, you also will start to see some pretty awesome things open up to you.

31:50

Fantastic, Ron, tell people what you’re working on right now. If they want to get in touch with you, where can they find you? This is your time to shine.

31:58

Perfect. Thank you. I appreciate First of all, thank you for the opportunity. Definitely. Yeah. So My name again is Ryan Stanley. So you can find me at Ryan Stanley calm. That’s our ya sta en le y. The book is called Be patient, be present, be joyful, a first aid kit for the emotional bumps, scrapes and bruises of life. And if you want to, you could buy that on my website. If you go to Ryan’s daily.com, there’ll be a button that says Be patient, be present be joyful. So feel free to click on that. If you do, I will actually send you a signed copy. It’ll come directly from me, and depending on my availability also come with a complimentary coaching session. But if you’re on Amazon all the time, anyway, obviously you can find it there you can find a Barnes and Nobles calm anywhere books are sold, feel free to check it out. If you check it out on Amazon, we’ve got you know, 46 reviews right now 45 of them are five star 44 was a one of them was it was a four star, I’ve never just wanted to be different, they’d really nice things to say about that. So check that out. And then lastly, if you are if you’re a coach, and you’re listening to this, if you are a what I would call a service oriented solopreneur. Check. I’ve got a company called teach me to sell. And so you can go to teach me to sell calm if you’d like. But really just check us out on YouTube right now where we’ve got a ton of free content, we got over 40 videos, just on mindset and sales training, I do all the mindset, I’ve got a partner that does all the sales training. So free videos on YouTube on that. So just just search teach me to sell.

33:17

Awesome, thank you so much. And as as a fellow author, if anybody decides to get Ron’s book on Amazon, do the nicest thing you can do to an author. Leave him a five star review.

33:26

Just give him a high five. Yeah,

33:27

that’s it. That’s it. Speaking of reviews, please make sure that you give this podcast a review. Like Share it do what the kids are doing these days. I don’t know. I’m turning into an old man. So I don’t know what the kids are doing out there. Whatever you do with the podcast to give it some love, make sure you did. And thank you so much, Ryan for coming on. It’s been a real pleasure. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve got a whole page full of notes here that I’m gonna go and incorporate it.

33:52

And I really was it was a blessing to be here. So if I can, if I can come back again. I’d love to be a guest.

33:56

We’d love to have you back. thank thank you so much and have a great day. Be blessed. Cheers, everybody.

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