The First Rule Of Communication
Communication is a skill that everybody needs to work on, nobody can be too good at communicating and nobody is at a point where they can’t improve. Relationships determine largely our level of success and happiness in life and communication plays a large role in determining the success of those relationships, therefore good communication skills are essential. Whether it be work, home or leisure we are constantly needing to interact with others, we are needing to gain their support, help and co-operation. The more effectively we can communicate our needs and wants, the greater the chance we have of receiving their assistance. So having said this, let’s look at the one thing never to do with another person, (unless you just want to end the relationship!).
The #1 rule of communication, never question who somebody is.
You may question results, or you may question the means as to how somebody has gone about getting those results, but you just can’t question a person’s motivation or the person behind that motivation. You don’t know. To question who a person is will probably end a relationship permanently.
Let me give an example of what I mean:
You may say to somebody “I don’t like what you did there, that hurt me, why did you do that?”, this is fine, it’s letting somebody know that your upset, and that you would like an explanation.
What would not be fine would be something like:
“You deliberately did that to try and hurt me, what‘s wrong with you”. This could be very bad, you have questioned who they are and you have decided that they deliberately did what they did when you have no way of knowing that. The best of intentions end in the worst of results all the time, there may have been nothing deliberate at all. It may just have been thoughtless. If this is the case then you have just done a lot of damage.
In conclusion, people just will not tolerate having their morals or who they are questioned by you or anybody else. It’s best to avoid doing it, then life will be much smoother.